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La casa hermane trascendente de Vemanei

The House Members

Nos llamamos a nosotres mismes una House, aun cuando existimos más allá de los confines tradicionales del ballroom original. Otro término debe, entonces, hacer más justicia a nuestras intenciones… ¿Cierto? La intención de una familia escogida en crear culturas de cuidado trasciende la necesidad de ser simplemente llamadas “casas”, pues la meta de las casas ballroom tradicionales se cimentan en la cultura de la escasez.Quizás en su lugar, la versatilidad de Vemanei puede alinearse mejor con el término “recipiente”. Modular, mutable y móvil hasta la saciedad – aunque “Recipiente de Vemanei” suene cool, no pega totalmente. Tampoco así le hace justicia este término a las energías que crearon esta conexión internacional. Bajo la influencia del capitalismo, tienes todo el derecho de llamarnos indecises.En la cultura de la escasez, el capitalismo requiere que una entidad posea cierto nivel de determinación en su propia identidad a fin de ser apreciades y se les asigne valor dentro del sistema. Quizás, entonces, es para mejor que persista nuestra indecisión. Porque buscamos cimarronaje en el ballroom corporativo, dentro de espacios en los cuales nuestro valor es medido por los puentes que construimos hacia la abundancia.Incluso entonces, necesitamos ser cuidadoses. Es difícil no olvidar que nuestro valor no se mide por la cantidad de puentes, sino por sus destinos. Si hay una cosa en la cual debemos ser siempre decisives, es que ninguno de esos destinos está en proximidad a la blanquitud. La abundancia negre, marrone, indígena está en mayor proximidad de lo que nunca ha estado.Una cultura de abundancia, entonces, no requiere tanto un nombre sino más bien una serie de acciones consistentes con sus intenciones. Inspirando acciones que generen abundancia para todes les queer es una de nuestras principales prioridades. Actualmente, esta acción para nosotres es la comunicación. Así es como originalmente nos reunimos todes, después de todo. Una conversación de tres, pronto se convirtió en una de quince en cierto punto.Nuestras conversaciones tendían a ser imperfectas y firmes, mas ocurrían consistentemente en ciclos de cuidado que invitaban a convertir estos matices en seguridad dentro de la incomodidad. Desaprendiendo la vergüenza como componente de disciplina requiere abundante descanso, ya que solemos sentarnos con incomodidad recurrentemente. Por la cantidad de descanso que este desaprender requiere, quizás deberíamos estar mejor servides llamándonos a nosotres mismes “La Conversación Trascendente de Vemanei”.Bueno, maldición. ¿Esto significa que vamos a cambiar todos nuestros emblemas ahora? Seguro lo discutiremos eventualmente. Por ahora, nos permitimos a aquelles presentes en esta “conversación” el navegar ballroom como mejor honre nuestro camino. Podemos caminar Mainstream Ballroom como Vemanei – o podemos reforzar su infraestructura como historiadores, sanadores, inversores, educadores y/o organizadores.O pueden existir más allá de esta infraestructura y trabajar hacia algo completamente diferente. Así como algunes seguramente fueron borrades del mapa por mucho tiempo desde la propia “conversación” de Crystal en las Nacionales de 1967, existe una infraestructura desde 2015 llamada Streamline que actualmente tiene nuestra indudable atención. Más sobre ello pronto.Por ahora, considerar esta conversación como recipiente hacia una llegada y un retorno entre estas dos infraestructuras. El nombre Vemanei describe una organización de esfuerzos paralelos, movilizados hacia lograr metas paralelas de estas dos infraestructuras.Por ahora, esto es suficiente – Pero, ¿cómo nos llamaremos a nosotres mismes mañana? Con el descanso como prioridad no negociable durante la incertidumbre de estos tiempos, nosotres estamos tan curioses como tú sobre la respuesta. La misión de Vemanei se mantiene igual: Construir una cultura de la abundancia para negres, marrones, indígenas queer más allá de bordes, clases y género.Sky Vemanei – 4 de Noviembre del 2021.

We call ourselves a house, yet we exist beyond the confines of original ballroom tradition. Another term, then, must do more justice to our intentions…right? A chosen family intent on creating cultures of care transcends the need to be called simply “house”, for the goals of a traditional ballroom house are grounded in cultures of scarcity.Maybe instead, the versatility of Vemanei could better align with the term “vessel”. Modular, mutable, and mobile to a fault — yet “The Vessel of Vemanei” sounds cool but doesn’t quite fit. Neither still, does that term do justice to the energies that created this international connection. Under the influence of capitalism, you’d be right to call us indecisive.In cultures of scarcity, capitalism requires an entity to possess a certain decisiveness of identity in order for it to be appraised and assigned value by the system. Maybe, then, it’s for the best that our indecisiveness persists. For we seek maroonage from corporate ballroom, into spaces where our value is measured by the bridges we build towards abundance.Even then, we need to be careful. It’s easy to forget that our value is not measured by the quantity of bridges but the quality of their destinations. If there is one thing in which we have always been decisive, it is that none of those destinations are in proximity to whiteness. Black, brown, indigenous abundance is in closer proximity than it ever was before.A culture of abundance, then, requires not so much a name, but a series of actions consistent with its intent. Inspiring actions that organize abundance for everyone queer is one of our top priorities. Currently, that action for us is communication. That’s how we originally came together, after all. A conversation of three soon became fifteen at one point.Our conversations tend to be imperfect and firm, yet consistently occurring in cycles of care that invite nuance and safety within discomfort. Unlearning shame as a component of discipline requires an abundance of rest, as we tend to sit with discomfort often. For the amount of rest this unlearning demands, we may yet be better served by calling ourselves “The Transcendent Conversation of Vemanei.”Well, damn. Does that mean we’ll change all of our official emblems now? Surely we’ll discuss it eventually. For now, we allow those present in this “conversation” to navigate ballroom as it honors their path best. They can walk Mainstream Ballroom as Vemanei — or they can reinforce it’s infrastructure as historians, healers, investors, educators, and organizers.Or, they can exist beyond the infrastructure and work towards an entirely different one. While others surely have been mapped out for longer since Crystal’s own “conversation” at the 1967 Nationals, there is one infrastructure from 2015 called Streamline that currently has our undivided attention. More on that soon.For now, consider this conversation as a vessel towards an arrival and return to these two infrastructures. The name Vemanei describes an organization of parallel endeavors, mobilized towards achieving parallel goals of these two infrastructures.For now, that is enough — but what will we call ourselves tomorrow? With rest as a non-negotiable priority during the uncertainty of these times, we are just as curious as you are. The mission of Vemanei remains the same: Building Black, Brown, Indigenous queer cultures of abundance beyond borders, class, and gender.Sky Vemanei — November 4, 2021

SHADE Y VENGANZA

For every harm you survive, you have every right to remind the world of your survival. However, you do not have the right or excuse to replicate that harm. For every injustice you face, you have no right or excuse to perpetuate that injustice.If you are Black or morena/o/x do not forget: When you choose to make someone suffer like you did, you may be mirroring the exact abuses of your oppressors. If you are white or white-passing, do not forget: When you choose to make someone suffer like you did — you may be reinforcing the colonial legacy of your ancestors and all who sought to reap its oppressive rewards.Vengeance is not the same as self-defense, and to willfully conflate the two is a form of victimization that is more disrespectful to yourself than the person who hurt you. Why? You stagnate your own healing process. Those who choose to stay in their pain are the same people who are most likely to participate in cancel culture.There are several nuances to be considered within all of the above reminders. If you are truly intent on creating and protecting communities of care and not conquest, it is your own responsibility to educate yourself on these nuances. If you need assistance accessing this education, it’s your responsibility to ask for it. It’s time to move past coddling every instance of discomfort and instead progress toward self-soothing and self-regulation.Vengeance is an action connected to the feeling of powerlessness and the need to regain that power and more by any means necessary. This action is a physical manifestation of the emotion of grief. Cancel culture enables this action by encouraging you to surround yourself with people who want to focus on the harm, rather than the desire to heal from it. When you feel this emotion, it’s your responsibility to ask for help. Help with what specifically? Navigating grief.It’s an action that we are all capable of acting upon. It’s also an action that is consciously decided upon. There are healthy ways to prevent this, yet that is also a conscious decision one must make.Sky Vemanei (ex. LaBeija) - June 21, 2019

The first homage is to the word “vimana”, which is Sanskrit for “traversing”. In several other Indian languages, the word also means “aircraft”, which can be found in ancient indigenous texts describing early flying machines predating modern airplanes. I want this family to be remembered for traveling far and wide to empower and unite transgender and nonbinary people worldwide.The second homage is to the rhythm game Bemani. Bemani is a Japanese music game company that first inspired me to be an artist, back in the year 2001. It is the creator of several games that celebrate every genre of music, from electronic to indigenous music of ancient times. Beyond that, the characters who represent Bemani are from all ethnicities and cultures, united in one goal. In the games, they use the power of music as weapons against the higher powers of oppression. In that same energy, each genre of music is a specific form of self defense.The third homage is in the pronunciation of the name itself, as it is similar to Bemani yet not an exact pronunciation. Pronunciation if the letter “V” in the Spanish language can often sound like the letter “B”. Mispronunciation in the English language can sound very similar to the word Bemani, allowing for unintentional subliminal association without infringing on intellectual property.The fourth homage is in the spelling, evolving from the word "vimana". The replacement of the I with an E is in homage to the spelling of Bemani, as it is similar yet not an exact replication. The replacement of the second A with an E is in homage to the neutralization of gendered words in Spanish.The fifth point is an homage to the very first surname I chose for myself upon coming out as transgender, Skylaur Avamanei, which in itself is an homage to the transgender “Aravani” people of Tamil Nadu.Ultimately, this name is an homage to how our members are spread across great distances, but our strong communication skills have become a vehicle that breaks cycles and incites change. It is also an homage to our willingness to travel and how Franka’s mission to reach all corners of Latin America persists through all of us.

“We restrict certain activity to protect our community.” “We limit how often you can do certain things on Instagram, like unfollowing people, to protect our community.” We tried to introduce ourselves, and were immediately silenced with repeated attacks on all social media platforms. Even if we found the aggressors, we were barred from setting any boundaries.From November 2021 to March 2022, we received notifications like this in blistering irony across Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp — as if our contributions are aimed anywhere else except our community. That was four months of narratives painting us as exploitative, illegitimate, opportunistic, and appropriative. That was four months of assumption that clearly shows zero interest in any kind of context or truth as to why we exist.This is not only four months that we lost. This is also four months that you lost. You could have had four months to navigate the nuances of Vemanei's existence, instead of all at once. Four months of direct answers to your questions, context to your concerns, decisiveness to your doubts -- silenced.We rose from concept to concrete reality, and fell victim to attacks of crabs in a bucket within our own community. We rise again now because these are the exact mentalities of scarcity and fear that we have always been organizing against. One way or another - cultures of care, consequence, and understanding will always conquer cultures of cancelation, capitalism, and classism. Let’s continue on our way up and out of this — together.It’s time to continue sharing our messages as we intended, in our own time.

The History of Vemanei

The History of Vemanei

LA CULTURA DE CANCELAR

Entiendo cómo “la cancelación” puede sentirse como la única manera de hacer justicia para con la víctima. Romper el silencio entre el silencio de los miedos, la doble moral, la misoginia y lo que dio inicio al movimiento #MeToo desde su principio. Muchxs de nosotrxs crecimos en familias donde las disculpas eran casi inexistentes. Como hijx de una familia militar, yo también comparto esta dolorosa educación y desaprendizaje.Sin embargo, hay una diferencia entre la cultura de la cancelación y la cultura de la consecuencia. Una cultura lleva a la rehabilitación, el entendimiento, la compasión y, eventualmente, la responsabilidad. La otra lleva incluso mucho más hacia el silencio, el resentimiento, el regodeo y, finalmente, el miedo.Es alentador ver cada vez más organizaciones que protegen los espacios de los delincuentes reincidentes. No obstante, hay maneras de comunicar esta decisión de no trivializar la experiencia de las víctimas, ni deshumanizar al culpable, de manera que se les quite su dignidad, autonomía y capacidad de sanar. Eso es exactamente lo opuesto de empoderar , y tampoco tiene nada que ver con la misión del ballroom.Hay una diferencia entre sentir incomodidad y experimentar trauma. Hay una diferencia entre ser ofendidx y tener nuestros derechos sistemáticamente violados y denegados. Confundir estas dos como una sola al mismo tiempo, solo prueba un punto, que es una forma de violencia en sí misma.Escoger narrativas que consuelan sentimientos, en lugar de narrativas que confrontan realidades incómodas, no hacen nada más que debilitar nuestras habilidades comunicativas, comercializar nuestro discurso hacia la persecusión y reemplazar el perdón con condenación. No habrá lugar para las disculpas aca.Justificarse al replicar daño en los demás como tu “proceso de sanación” no tiene nada que ver con la sanación, sino con la venganza. Si eres blancx, o puedes pasar como alguien blancx, estás perpetuando el abuso de tus ancentrxs. Si eres negrx o marronx, estás replicando el abuso de tus opresores. De hecho, es más dañino fomentar de manera online el pensamiento masivo que en la vida real — ya que el capitalismo recompensa más a la lucha que a las soluciones.Hay maneras saludables de navegar estas emociones como víctima, porque estas son una parte natural de nuestro proceso de duelo. En la cultura del cuidado y consecuencia, hay maneras de crear y proteger espacios para que las dos partes puedan penar y sanar a su propio tiempo.Cancelar a alguien no es un “límite bien definido” y tampoco tiene nada que ver con “la ternura radical”. Considerar la cultura de la cancelación como una solución para lo que sea no tiene nada que ver con el activismo. Es abuso. Es una forma de abuso emocional y psicológico. No importa cuan marginalizadx estes. Ocultarte detrás de tu identidad para justificar la cancelación es solo una excusa para victimizarse, cambiar el foco de la culpa, y absolverte a ti mismx de toda responsabilidad.Las personas que se enganchan en la cultura de la cancelación no están interesadxs en ningún tipo de conversación basada en hechos que entiendan el contexto o busquen la verdad. Cuando se enfrentan a hechos contradictorios abaten o destrozan a quien sea que no esté de acuerdo con ellxs. Cada vez que corremos de nuestro propio rol en estos conflictos, más nos alejamos de nuestra sanación.Nunca es suficiente decir que el amor es el mensaje. Es hora de preguntarnos a nosotrxs mismxs la verdadera razón por la cual estamos aquí. El amor no es simplemente un mensaje, es una decisión conciente que hacemos todos los días — y todas las noches.No tienes que aprender de ballroom en Las Balls, porque Las Balls son simplemente un lugar. El Ballroom son las personas. Si realmente te interesa la comunidad, la sanación que busques será colectiva y no de manera individual. El tiempo lo hará mucho más claro, sea que tus acciones lo reflejen o no.La Casa de Vemanei apoya a todas las víctimas de abuso y a todx aquel que cultiva culturas de cuidado y abundancia. Los ciclos de escasez y capitalismo solo pueden ser rotos si los rompemos juntxs. Yo solo puedo ayudarte tanto y cuando te permitas a ti mismx ser vulnerable al no tener todas las respuestas. Digo esto porque yo tampoco tengo todas las respuestas — debemos construirlas juntxs.Muchxs de ustedes están acostumbradxs a que yo les digas estas cosas, porque lo vengo diciendo desde hace 7 años ya. Mi postura sigue siendo la misma. Somos más fuertes juntxs que separadxs. De todos modos, hay una gran diferencia entre la solidaridad y el pensamiento masivo. Apréndela antes que te consuma a ti mismx.Sky Vemanei (ex. LaBeija) - Noviembre 11, 2021

Cancel culture

I understand how “cancellation” can feel like the only way to receive justice as a victim. Breaking through the silences of phobias, double standards, and misogyny are what birthed the #MeToo movement in the first place. Many of us grew up in families where apologies were almost nonexistent. As a military child, I also share this painful upbringing and unlearning.However, there is a difference between cultures of cancellation and cultures of consequence. One culture leads to rehabilitation, understanding, compassion, and eventual responsibility. Another leads to even more silence, resentment, schadenfreude, and ultimately...fear.It’s encouraging to see more organization towards protecting spaces from repeat offenders. However, there are ways to communicate this decision that neither trivializes the experience of the victims nor dehumanizes the offender in ways that strips them of their dignity, autonomy, and capacity to heal. That is the exact opposite of empowerment and has nothing to do with the mission of ballroom.There is a difference between feeling discomfort, and experiencing trauma. There’s a difference between being offended and having our rights systematically violated and withheld from us. Confusing the two as one in the same, just to prove a point, is a form of violence in itself.Choosing narratives that comfort emotions rather than confront uncomfortable realities do nothing but erode our communication skills, trade debate for persecution, and replace forgiveness with condemnation. Apologies will not be found here.To justify replicating harm onto others as part of your “healing process” is not healing but vengeance. If you are white or white-passing, you are perpetuating the abuses of your ancestors. If you are black or brown, you are replicating the abuses of your oppressors.Fomenting mob mentalities online is actually more harmful than in real life — because capitalism rewards strife more than solutions. There are healthy ways to navigate these emotions as a victim, because they are a natural part of our grieving process. In cultures of care and consequence, there are ways to create and protect spaces for both parties to grieve and heal in their own time.Canceling someone is not a “hard boundary” nor has anything to do with “radical tenderness”. To consider cancel culture as a solution for anything at all is not activism. It is bullying.It is a form of emotional and psychological abuse. No matter how marginalized you are, hiding behind your identity to justify cancellation is simply an excuse to victimize, deflect blame, and absolve yourself of responsibility.People who engage in cancel culture are not interested in any kind of fact-based conversation that leads to context or truth. When faced with contradictory facts, they either shut down or tear down anyone who disagrees with them. Every time we run away from our own role in these conflicts, the further away we run from our healing.It’s not always enough to say love is the message. It’s time to ask yourselves the real reason why you are here. Love is not simply a message, it is a conscious decision made every day — and every night.You don’t learn about ballroom at The Ball, because The Ball is simply the place. The Ballroom is the people. If you are truly about community, the healing you speak of must be collective and not solely individual. Time will make it clear whether your actions reflect that or not.The House of Vemanei stands with all victims of abuse and those intent on cultivating cultures of care and abundance. Cycles of scarcity and capitalist harm can only be broken if we break them together. I can only help as much as you allow yourself the vulnerability to not have all the answers. I say this because I don’t have all the answers either – we must build them together.I have said it for over 7 years now. My stance remains the same. We are stronger together than apart. However, there is a very strong difference between solidarity and mob mentality. Learn it before it consumes you too.- Sky Vemanei (ex. LaBeija) - November 11, 2021

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